With the college basketball season coming to a close, University of Utah basketball coach Larry Krystkowiak made a big announcement today regarding the future of the Huntsman Center basketball arena. “I am concerned about the potential for serious injury in the current atmosphere of this arena,” Krystkowiak said this morning during a press conference. Effective immediately, he is shutting down all basketball operations at the university and has put the Huntsman Center arena up for sale.

He hopes to sell the 15,000-seat arena to a more suitable organization who can better use the venue. An ideal new owner would be the Ultimate Fighting Championship or the World Wrestling Entertainment, where violence (or at least pretend violence) is more welcome.

In the meantime, coach doesn’t want his team of highly-recruited athletes to go to waste, so the basketball team’s practice will move to the pool, where they can perfect their synchronized swimming routines in a safe environment. “Sometimes when you jump in and start changing things, you make waves,” said Krystkowiak, “and this is my way of doing exactly that.”

When asked about the seemingly low listing price of $80,000, Krystkowiak shrugged and said, “It just felt like the right number. The athletic department gives me a lot of latitude to call the shots for our program and they trust me to make the right decisions for our players and the school we represent. Plus, I thought I could flip it pretty quick at that price and I needed $80k so it kind of just works out great for everybody.”

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